Kohler is selling a toilet called Numi. Its lid and (heated) seat open automatically, it flushes automatically, has a bidet with adjustable position, water pressure and temperature, a dryer (of course), and a deodorizing charcoal filter.
It also warms your feet by gently blowing hot air at the bottom and plays music — either your own through an input jack in the magnetic docking station where the remote sits (yes, the Numi has a remote), or from FM radio. The remote is touchscreen, controls the bidet, dryer and heating options, and saves preferences per user.
And not to worry, there are auxiliary controls in case you lose the remote. The water tank “delivers unprecedented water savings and power” and has illuminated panels so you can find it at night. All yours for 6400$. And here’s a ridiculously lavish commercial for it, in which the toilet is for some reason in the living room:
The opulence guy with the tiny giraffe from the DirecTV commercial probably has like a dozen of these.