Michael Vick Is Now Invincible

After the Eagles’ starting quarterback got his ribs bruised in the second preseason game this year, his corporate parental units decided to stop screwing around: from now on, ESPN says that Vick will wear advanced body armor under his uniform. This means that not only will the military-grade, battle-tested, Kevlar-containing composite material protect him on the field, but he also no longer has anything to fear from bullets, and could even enter a dog fight himself, knowing that dog teeth are no match for his Unequal Technologies EXO Skeleton — which, by the way, is apparently either fitted, custom-fitted, or both:

“It’s going to be custom-fitted and fitted to protect all across my sternum, across my ribs. I think it’ll be a better fit.” — Michael Vick

Unequal EXO Skeleton Barricade 5 Pad Shirt


The battle armor is described as a compression shirt that has two rib protectors, each of which weighs three ounces and stops tickle fights before they start. Also, the CEO of the athletic armor company is either brash, a betting man, or just wants every defense in the NFL to try really hard:

“I guarantee he will not get hurt,” — Rob Vito, CEO of Unequal Technologies

From ESPN.com


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