The people at Advertising Age got their well-manicured hands on an internal memo from McDonald’s. It says that while the McRib was going to sell from October 22 to November 11 as per the usual, they’ve had a change of heart and pushed that window to the latter half of December. Why make us wait with watering mouths for two agonizing months more? Greed, that’s why!
This coming winter is supposed to be fairly snowy, and bad weather keeps people from trolling to McDonald’s for their burger with a side of large French heart attack and refreshing diabetes. So how do you get the lazy cowards to brave the elements and make the trek to McDonald’s? You make them an offer they can’t refuse: a delicious, pre-formed mostly-pork shoulder patty that looks like ribs, topped with onions, pickles, and probably heroin to make it irresistible. Because McRib fans will turn into veritable postmen and neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these people from the swift devouring of the most elusive of sandwiches. And so, the McRib will prove to have yet another power: that of saving 4th quarter corporate profits from Old Man Winter’s cold, sinister hands.