For those not cool/nerdy enough, A Song of Ice And Fire is the name of the book series of which A Game of Thrones is the first. (The name probably comes from Norse mythology, in which the first being, Ymir, was created in the void between ice and fire. There are lots of other Norse elements in the books, like long winter, dragons, frost giants, giant wolves, flaming swords and magical trees. There’s even a blog about all this.) ANYWAY, Slacktory does a really funny job “trying” to explain the whole book series in two minutes:
A video from The Onion goes over the new Facebook feature, LifePoint, which can tell you exactly when your life started going south:
An eyecatching link on a website which encourages people to read on. It is often paid for by the advertiser (“Paid” click bait) or generates income based on the number of clicks.
-from Urban Dictionary
Clickbait headlines are quite possibly the worst thing to have happened to the Internet, ever. And like a virus, it keeps spreading, thanks to the success of terrible, terrible websites like Upworthy.
To fight this scourge, a Twitter guy (it’s gotta be a guy, right?) named @SavedYouAClick started reading a bunch of a clickbait articles and then posting awesomely sarcastic summaries of what you’d find in the article, were you to take the bait. Examples: (which are better understood by starting to read them at the RT, and then reading the beginning part)
Co-valedictorians RT @HuffingtonPost: Identical twins get school’s highest honor
Less than $6 per passenger. RT @cnni: Guess how much money airlines make when you fly. You might be surprised:
Run away. Fast. RT @businessinsider: A former Navy SEAL explains how to escape a dangerous situation
It’s called Drizly. RT @latimes: A liquor delivery app just launched in L.A.:
She’s pregnant again. Those are the details. RT @OK_Magazine: Breaking: @kourtneykardash is pregnant! Details:
LeVar Burton bringing back Reading Rainbow RT @Upworthy: That one time when a famous Hollywood person created a Kickstarter so kids can read
It’s not. It could give you a hand injury, though. @mashable: Why Texting Is Killing You
It’s a red panda. Cute, but not cutest ever. RT @Cosmopolitan: Is this the cutest GIF ~*eVeR?
Abandoned island near the Bronx. RT @HuffingtonPost: We’re pretty sure a visit to this island will give you nightmares
No. Just let it go. RT @GuardianUS: Does a spouse not liking Frozen qualify as grounds for divorce?
Water quality. RT @businessinsider: A chemist has uncovered the secret to brewing delicious coffee at home
Sexism. RT @Slate: What we found while lurking on an anonymous college message board for two years will disgust you:
Invaded Normandy. RT @businessinsider: Here’s how the Allies began to win World War 2, 70 years ago tomorrow
Because you’re not enjoying it. A study found they’re linked. RT @NYMag: Why you’re constantly exercising and never losing weight:
Wal-Mart sells a TON of CDs. RT @FortuneMagazine: Here’s why Pharrell and Robin Thicke played the Wal-Mart annual meeting for free
Florence. (It’s just a user poll). RT @mashable: What is the best summer vacation spot in the world?
Where could this be?
St. Petersburg Pinellas Park in — wait for it … that’s right! Florida. No other details yet about when and what happened.
Update, 9 April 2014: According to the Tampa Fox affiliate, the rampage happened after one of the McDonald’s employees turned down her offer of oral sex. The woman is apparently just plain crazy, since she wasn’t on drugs or anything. The fantastic narrators of the video have been fired by McDonald’s. Pinellas Park is just west of St. Petersburg, which is just southwest of Tampa.
Update, May the 4th, 2014: Looks like the video’s been taken off of YouTube, which is very unfortunate. The Daily Mail has a bunch of photos and the video though.
Rotary phones have been outdated for 30 years, so young kids in the mid-2010s only ever see them in really old movies. Consequently, said kids are adorable when they get their hands on one. Besides all the stuff you’d expect in a video like this – not knowing how to dial, or what a dial tone and busy signal are — the children are also astonished to find out you couldn’t text on one, and that even if you carried it around in a back pack, it wouldn’t work outside the house because it needed a wire.
A headline is supposed to be a succinct summary of an article. Clickbait, on the other hand, is like the headline’s slimy, used-car salesman cousin. It’s vague, intriguing, hyped up, and created with only one purpose in mind: to make you click on that link. Over the past couple of years, lazy bloggers have more or less standardized the jargon, so pretty much any headline starting with “this” or “these” or a number, like “6 Ways The Grocery Store Is Ripping You Off” and “This hilarious cat will make you bawl your eyes out” is clickbait.
This insightful xkcd turned the eye of history on clickbait, and came up with 14 headlines that you won’t believe.
Some of these are really obvious, but if you’re stuck on what the headlines are about:
The hovering title text is about Einstein’s publishing of the Theory of General Relativity.
Last week, Kanye released a music video called Bound 2. In the video, which is obviously produced by a teenager, he’s riding a motorcycle while having sex with a topless Kim Kardashian in front of cheap computer-generated backgrounds. It’s safe to say this was Kanye’s plan to top Kim’s sex tape with Ray J. But then, James Franco and Seth Rogen made Bound 3, a shot-for-shot remake of Kanye’s video, and it is pure genius:
Kanye’s original, Bound 2:
As we’ve seen before, Bad Lip Reading is hilarious. When taking their art to Game of Thrones, they did something a little different, and turned it into a trailer for a campy medieval comedy along the lines of A Knight’s Tale. The results are great: