Tag Archives: celebrities

Bound 3

Last week, Kanye released a music video called Bound 2. In the video, which is obviously produced by a teenager, he’s riding a motorcycle while having sex with a topless Kim Kardashian in front of cheap computer-generated backgrounds. It’s safe to say this was Kanye’s plan to top Kim’s sex tape with Ray J. But then, James Franco and Seth Rogen made Bound 3, a shot-for-shot remake of Kanye’s video, and it is pure genius:

 

Kanye’s original, Bound 2:

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From YouTube, via The Superficial

How To Explain Twerking To Your Parents

In response to the Miley Cyrus incident at the 2013 VMAs, the New York Times has a hilarious article in which the word “children” was replaced with “parents”. A brilliant tweak that lead to gems like this:

A critical first step is to acknowledge that twerking is a normal part of life and that there is nothing shameful in their questions. They’re parents, after all, and this is the sort of thing they hear about on NPR, and, well, they’re curious.

Go ahead, read the whole thing — it’s a good use of three minutes.

Miley Cyrus twerking

Miley Cyrus twerking

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From The New York Times

Local News Anchors Interview Ryan Lochte, Then Make Fun Of Him

If you’re a pop cultural hermit, Ryan Lochte is the bro graduate of the University of Florida who won 11 gold medals in swimming. He uses the word “jeah” a lot. For some reason, the network of such quality entertainment as Keeping up with the Kardashians, E!, gave him his own reality series, called What Would Ryan Lochte Do, probably because he thinks he’s the Jesus of swimming. The series premieres this Sunday, April 21st, so he’s been giving interviews to spread the word.

One of them was with the Philadelphia Fox affiliate anchors, who start the 90 second interview by asking “Why should we care?”, end it on a bathroom water sports joke, and then follow it up with another 90 seconds of straight up laughing their asses off, wondering how E! would get 13 episodes’ worth of material from him. The best footage local news has produced since they covered the Shake Weight.

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From YouTube, via The Superficial

Snooki Actually Looks Good, Sans Makeup

For some reason, Snooki put a picture of herself without makeup on Twitter, and it’s a definite improvement from the clown façade she normally sports. So much so, that she actually looks nice. Still sporting the duckface though.

 

Of course, she’s been doing makeup all wrong the entire time, since it’s supposed to make women look more competent, not more like a train wreck.

From Twitter, via The Superficial

The 10 Biggest Failures Of 2011

FAIL Blog conducted a poll of the “failiest” people of the year, from most to least:

  1. US Congress: in the wake of the credit downgrade, Congress received its lowest approval rating ever: 14%. Not even their compromise super-committee team could agree on a way to get us out of debt. Just the yesterday, an 11th hour deal was reached to avoid a government shutdown — for two months. In other words, we are being governed by the Korean pensinsula.
  2. Westboro Baptist Church: the people whose love overfloweth so much, that they protest funerals. When Steve Jobs died, they announced — from an iPhone — that they would picket his funeral.
  3. Kim Kardashian: faked the most lavish non-royal wedding of the year in order to get a few more millions.

    George Takei on Kim Kardashian's divorce
  4. Rebecca Black: the 13-year old who became an Internet pariah after her rich parents let her make quite possibly the worst song and music video of all time.
  5. Charlie Sheen: had the most epic public breakdown since Howard Hughes.
  6. Muammar Gaddafi: after 40 years of rule, the Condoleeza Rice-loving dictator who was protected by Charlie’s Angels, caught a bullet  that ended the 6-month long Libyan revolution. Borat is making a movie parody of him called The Dictator:

  7. Casey Anthony: probably killed her own daughter, but at the very least she tried to cover up her negligence. And then got away with it all, thanks to reasonable doubt.
  8. Jerry Sandusky: the former college football coach that set up a charity to use as a harvest field for boys to molest. Got Joe Pa fired. Faces 52 counts of sexual abuse amortized over 10 boys.
  9. Lindsay Lohan thinking she still looks healthy in March


  10. Lindsay Lohan: the formerly cute starlet whose train wreck of a life is second only to Charlie Sheen’s: in January, she got released from court-ordered rehab after 3 months, stole a necklace in February for no reason, then got put under house arrest for 35 days in May, for violating her probation — this, instead of 120 days in jail, due to overcrowding. In October, she again violated her probation by not doing her community service, so she got 30 more days in jail (of which served 5 hours, due to overcrowding) and has to do 400 hours of community service at the county morgue. In the middle of all of this, she decided to do a nude photo shoot for Playboy, since she’s probably running out of money.
  11. Anthony Weiner: the married Congressman who accidentally publicly twitted a pic of his weiner instead of privately sending it to a college student he was sexting with. At first he refused to resign, but eventually did anyway.

From FAIL Blog

Kim Kardashian Getting Richer Off The Wedding After All

A couple of days ago, after announcing the end of her two-month marriage which began in a multi-million dollar wedding designed to put Will & Kate’s to shame, Kim Kardashian posted a message on her website, in which she said:

There are also reports that I made millions of dollars off of the wedding. These reports are simply not true and it makes me so sad to have to even clarify this.

As if her saying “nuh-uh, you guuyyss!” to the country that’s collectively calling the marriage a scam to get her more cash (since she has no other marketable skills), would be enough. And now details of her pre-nup with Kris Humphries came out, part of which says that that while he doesn’t get any money in the divorce, they both get 30% of the wedding commercials, which aired in 50 countries. In other words, millions. Not bad for throwing a huge party for yourself and pretending you’re married for two months.

From The NY Post, via The Superficial

Shocker: Amy Winehouse Died Of Alcohol Poisoning

A few days after Amy Winehouse died in July, her family said she had been clean of drugs and alcohol for a couple of weeks, and they figured she died of alcohol withdrawal. The theory being that giving up the bottle was so tough on her tiny body that her system just went into shock and called it quits. Yeah, nobody else bought that either. And today, you (and Occam’s Razor) have been proven right: the coroner reports that while she had no illegal drugs in her system, her blood alcohol level was 0.416%, which is more than five times the legal driving limit, and a little bit above the fatal level that’s around 0.400% — explaining why she died from it.

 

Illustration by VectorPortal.com

 

Apparently she wasn’t so much an alcoholic as a binge drinker — she wouldn’t drink for weeks, then go nuts on the stuff. No word on whether she died while snorting vodka.

From Monsters and Critics

Andy Rooney Is Retiring

For 33 years, Andy Rooney has been closing 60 Minutes with his colorful essays, and this Sunday will be his last regular one. He is now 92 and has been working for CBS for 62 years, since 1949. He’s been with 60 Minutes since its debut in 1968. Last year, CBS summed up his career in video narrated by his colleague, Morley Safer: