Tag Archives: craigslist

Great Opportunity To Learn Real & True Magick In Humboldt County

Humboldt is a rural county in northern California, about 200 miles north of San Francisco.

More funny Craigslist ads:

From Craigslist, via FAIL Blog

Rapture Round-up

As you probably already know, the end is not just nigh, but really nigh — in like in two days. To commemorate the upcoming end of the world, the Internet has brought the funny:

@kevinism: #Rapture prank: On Saturday, take some of your old clothes and shoes and leave sets of them arranged on sidewalks and lawns around town.

 

@BackpackingDad: What’s the timezone for the #Rapture? Do we go on Vatican time, or does Auckland go first and Hawaii has to wait all day?

 

And for those of you with pets, you can pay atheists to make sure they’re taken care of after you’ve been raptured.

Via NPR and Art of Trolling

I Will Walk Your Dog

From possibly the same guy who posted the Craigslist ad saying he would do anything, comes another hilarious ad about walking rich people’s dogs

Via someecards

I DO ANYTHING

Probably the funniest Craiglist post ever.

travisdoesanything@gmail.com

My name is Travis Broyles and I will do whatever* you want me to do for less money than whoever you are paying to do it now.

Below is a list of just some of the things I can do. I do want to stress that I DO ANYTHING so email me if your requested service is not listed here.

Things I Will Do For $5:
Stare at you for 5 minutes
Give a hug to the person of your choosing
Call you on the phone and seem genuinely interested for 10 minutes
Draw your face on a balloon
Sing Barenaked Ladies’ “One Week” from memory to the best of my ability
6 minutes of copywriting

Things I Will Do For $10:
Spin until I throw up or you lose interest
Rename your Pokémon
Host a conference call with you and a person that you’ve always thought was cool but never really got the chance to hang out with, you know?
12 minutes of copywriting

Things I Will Do For $50:
Break-up with your boyfriend or girlfriend
Help you quit smoking (I’ll call you every day for a month and yell “HEY DON’T SMOKE”)
Tell the person you like that you think they’re cute and what if you had sex together?
Try my best to fly in a public place for an hour
Make you a really great profile picture
1 hour of copywriting

Things I Will Do For $100:
Tell your kids which one is actually your favorite, and what the others could do to improve their standings
Fight someone much smaller or girl than me
Email you a list of 250 things I like about you (need access to any and all social network accounts)
Clean most of your house and apologize for the things I didn’t
Deliver 5 fully cooked DiGiorno pizzas right to your door (5 mile radius from my home)
2 hours of copywriting

Things I Will Do For $1,000:
Host an event (will not host anything racially insensitive, e.g. human being auction)
Give a PowerPoint presentation on team building to your business and/or extended family
Rename your children
Build you a cardboard car and make vroom-vroom sounds while you drive it
Star treatment for a month (I’ll hide in bushes and take pictures of you)
20 hours of copywriting

Things I Will Do For $100,000:
Yell your name every time I wake up for the rest of my life
Change my political and spiritual leanings
Screen all your phone calls for five years
Recreate the best day of your life (or worst, whatevs)
84 straight days of copywriting *BEST VALUE*

If interested, email me at travisdoesanything@gmail.com.

*Prices and tasks are subject to negotiation. I will not murder or steal or perform a legendary murdersteal. No rapes, and the sex has to be unrelated to the payment, like “Oh, after you’re done cutting those trees down, do you want some lemonade?” but the lemonade means sex, mostly.

Via Craigslist.