Tag Archives: tebow

No, Tebow Doesn’t Think All Democrats Are Bums

There’s a tweet going around from the eve of election day 2012:

I’m predicting Obama will take an early lead tomorrow… Until all the Republicans get off work. #RomneyRyan2012

It’s supposedly by Tim Tebow, except for the fact that the real Tebow, the Messiah of football, would never say anything negative about one of God’s creatures. And he especially wouldn’t imply that Democrats are lazy, unemployed freeloaders that do nothing but occupy public spaces while waiting around to vote themselves entitlements paid for by the 1%. No, he would say nothing remotely close to that. Love him or hate him, you have to agree that the Mother Teresa of the gridiron should be picked up by the Saints, because he is one.

 

So what about the aforementioned tweet? It’s not really from @TimTebow, but from a joke account called @TheTimmyTebow. The real Blue Jesus has, for better or worse, still not yet sunk to our level. His last few tweets deal with college football and good wishes to the victims of superstorm Sandy. Also, people need to read those Twitter bylines; fake Tebow’s account clearly says:

Savior of football. (Parody account) Not in any way affiliated with Tim Tebow.

In other Tebow news, he was recently voted the most overrated quarterback (his teammate Mark Sanchez tied for second place, along with Tony Romo), he trademarked Tebowing (not to make money from it, but to protect how it’s used), he is a reluctant Ohio State fan now that his good buddy/father figure Urban Meyer is coaching there, and he’s finally got a girlfriend: an actress you’ve never heard of named Camilla Belle:

 

See also:

From Twitter

Broncos Sacrifice Tebow

 

If you haven’t heard, the Broncos acquired the recently free-agent Peyton Manning and subsequently traded Tebow to the Jets for two draft picks, because Peyton’s giant salary meant they couldn’t keep Tebow without hitting the salary cap.

 

Tebow Doesn’t Change: He Changes You

Tim Tebow: on the left, while playing for the Florida Gators; on the right, while playing for the Denver Broncos

 

From CBS Sports

Funny Tim Tebow Skit On SNL

Jesus visits Tebow and the rest of the Denver Broncos in the locker room to ask that they meet him halfway and stop relying only on him to win games.

Tim Tebow is a famous University of Florida quarterback that won two national championships (2006 and 2008) and the Heisman in 2008, but his skill in college has not translated well in professional football. Despite that, the Broncos have somehow won all but one game under his leadership, a fact that may be due to his religious fervor.

As a bonus, a joke about Tebow, Tom Brady, and God:

Tom Brady, after living a full life, died. When he got to heaven, God was showing him around. They came to a modest little house with a faded Patriots flag in the window. “This house is yours for eternity Tom, said God. “This is very special; not everyone gets a house up here.” Tom felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house.

On his way up the porch, he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a huge 3-story mansion with Orange and Blue sidewalks and driveways, a 50 foot tall flagpole with an enormous Broncos logo flag waving, a swimming pool in the shape of a horse, a Broncos logo in every window, and a Tim Tebow jersey on the front door.

Tom looked at God and said “God, I’m not trying to be ungrateful, but I have a question. I was an all-pro QB, I won 3 Super Bowls, and I even went to the Hall of Fame.”

God said “So what’s your point Tom?”

“Well, why does Tim Tebow get a better house than me?”

God chuckled, and said “Tom, that’s not Tim’s house, it’s mine.”

From Hulu